What is Madeen?
by Leonine One 252
Summary: Eiko has a breakdown about Madeen. Is Madeen a guy or a girl?


I believe a bit of introduction is in order, MWAHAHA! Hi! My name is Leonine One. If you read my other FF fics you'll see that they're about characters that look like lions, because I'm obsessed with lions, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Anyway, this story is about Madeen, which you can obviously tell from the title. On to the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I don't own any character or place in Final Fantasy IX or the other Final Fantasies, they belong to Square. One day, though, I shall own _every_ Final Fantasy! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Heheh…kidding.

**What is Madeen?**

Well, it's been about a year since Kuja was defeated. Now that there was no longer a threat of nihilistic psychopaths or monsters born of pieces of souls, everyone in Gaia was generally just enjoying life in true peace. Burmecia was starting to be rebuilt, as well as Lindblum and Alexandria. Ancient ruins on other continents were being explored, and trade with Conde Petie and the Black Mage Village has begun as well. Besides that, Eiko and Dagger have begun searching for people worthy to become a new summoner tribe. They decided on the Terrans.

Our heroes were at the Eidolon Wall. It was a beautiful day, and the two remaining Gaian summoners had let their eidolons out to do whatever it is that eidolons do in their spare time. "Hey Eiko, is Madeen a guy or a girl?" asked Dagger. "What kind of question is that? She's obviously female," replied Eiko. "Why do you say that?" asked Vivi.

"Look. Mog was obviously a girl, and unless moogles get a ### change when they go into Trance, then Madeen should be a girl, too!"

"Hey…" Madeen interrupted.

"But Madeen looks like a lion, and only male lions have manes. And Madeen has a mane…lots of it!"

"Guys…"

"Hey! Are calling my best friend ugly!?"

"Hello…"

"I'm just saying, I think Madeen is a guy."

"No he's not!"

"GUYS!!!" roared Madeen, "Did you ever think to ask me?" The group took one look at him and went right back to arguing. "I say he's a guy," said Zidane, "I mean, seriously, only men are that buff…that and women on steroids. Besides, did ya' ever notice that bodybuilder pose Madeen goes into when he does his attack? You know, the one where he flexes his left arm. He's definitely a guy."

"MADEEN IS NOT A GUY!!! She can't be a man. Otherwise that would mean that I've let a _male_ live in my dress for the first six years of my life!"

"I…I dreamed about a person named Maduin last night. Maduin was a man…and the dream told me that he was the one who inspired Madeen to exist," said Dagger.

Eiko was horrified. "MADEEN IS NOT A MAN!!! I WILL NOT LET A DREAM TELL ME THAT MY BEST FRIEND WHO I THOUGHT WAS FEMALE IS ACTUALLY _MALE_!!!!!" she screamed. "Ack! Eiko, chill!" said Zidane. "Maybe Madeen is a hermaphrodite." Everyone stared at Amarant, who was the one to make the remark. "That's how these things always seem to go, doesn't it? Deities and mystical beings always turn out to be hermaphrodites," said Amarant. "Um…Amarant, I think you mean sexless. Hermaphrodite means that one is both genders at the same time. _Quina_ is hermaphrodite. Madeen is not," corrected Freya.

"I do not think that Madeen is neither gender. After all, Ifrit is obviously masculine, and Shiva is obviously a woman," said Steiner. "Ow! What was that for!" protested Steiner. "_That_ was for thinking about other women," said Beatrix. "I think I have a solution," said one of the Terran summoners, "I shall call other leonine beings from other worlds and see what they say about the matter." In a blinding flash, Griever (FF8), Kimahri (FF10), Simba (Kingdom Hearts), and Regulus (mine) appeared. The Eidolon wall suddenly got very crowded. Some of them looked a little irritated, particularly Regulus. Regulus was a lion who did not enjoy being summoned by someone other than his master, at _all_.

"Oh great lions, is Madeen a male or female?" asked the Terran. "He's a guy, duh. What kind of stupid question is that? You called me all the way here to this world with diminutive people to question my brother's gender?" said Griever, slightly offended.

"No…Madeen is not a man…I won't believe it!" said Eiko.

"'Course he is, little girl. Didn't you hear me? He's my _brother_, my baby _brother_."

There was a great roar of surprise, which in turn surprised everyone else. They all turned to look at Kimahri. "Is Ronso god Madeen!" said a very amazed Kimahri. "Hail, oh Great One," he said as he bowed before Madeen.

"Stop it! Madeen is _not_ a guy!" shouted Eiko. An apologetic growl was heard from Simba. "Lion say, sorry, but Madeen is man," translated Kimahri. Regulus growled. "Bigger lion ask why it matters," translated Kimahri (again).

"I feel violated…" mumbled Eiko.

"**_HEY!!!_**" bellowed Madeen, "Do I get _any_ say in this?" Everyone remained silent. "Good. Yes, I am male. But that doesn't matter. Eiko, all I want to do is to protect you. If that meant that I had to manifest myself in a female form to relate to you better, then I was willing to do it. I'm sorry if you thought I was a woman, but the fact is that I am actually a man. Can you forgive me?"

"I just had a premonition. I kept hearing the name…Jerry Springer. What a strange name…Oh, it was terrible," said Dagger.

"I…I guess I can live with that. But…but…but I let a man into my dress!" sobbed Eiko, "Oh, I hope my grandpa isn't watching this right now!"

The rest of the day was spent getting Griever, Kimahri, Simba, and Regulus back to their proper worlds. Madeen also had to stay with Eiko to comfort her for several days. And in the back of her mind, Dagger just couldn't help but regret ever asking that fateful question.

**The End**

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Done! I hope that wasn't too weird. Please review!


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